Faith Over Fear

Why would anyone run that far?

I don’t even like driving that far!

Aren’t you worried you’ll ruin your knees?

No, other people aren’t saying this to me, I am thinking it myself. I am in the middle of training for my first 50 mile trail race. It is daunting at best and absolutely terrifying at worst.

I am extremely fortunate that all medication is working fairly well; lupus and Hashimoto’s are well managed except for the sun sensitivity that I now experience. I am in a very healthy place for me right now and am so grateful that I even get to train at all. No, it’s not what I used to be able to do, and it is so much harder than it used to be. I let fear and doubt take over because I overlooked how far I have come since my diagnosis. My training runs had been miserable, mostly because of my bad attitude. ‘Why try this at all? I probably will DNF anyway, imagining that I won’t make the time cutoff.’ and other negative self talk polluted my thoughts.

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Feeling defeated.

My family took a little weekend away to the Taos Ski Valley and hiked up Wheeler Peak. That was not only a perspective and altitude change, but a mental change as well. No running. Just hiking with the family, climbing about 3000 feet in elevation to the peak at 13,160′ and enjoying the views! It was physically so hard because of the elevation and steep grade, but when we all reached the top, it was such a relief and sense of accomplishment. I thought, if we can do this, I can do the 50 mile race.

My latest 16 mile run was done on the trails on the day after a 10 mile run which was on the day after a 13 mile run. Tired legs. Good gage of how the race might go. I felt better than I have felt in a long time. My pace was slow, but hey, it is what it is. (I need to let that go.) I kept a good attitude and knew I could continue on. This run gave me some confidence back. I can’t help but think that when God prompted a person to scratch something in the dirt, He knew I was going to see it and I know it was a reminder for me.

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Amen.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

I need to keep the faith. Trust my training. This goes not only for my race plan but my life plan. I need to remember that whatever I am facing, faith is stronger than fear. Faith will overcome fear! Fear can paralyze you, faith can set you free. By trusting in Jesus I can rest assured that no matter what, He’s got me. So I can rise up to challenges with a strength and resolve from above. And if I do end up with a DNF, it won’t be because of fear.

 

 

Author: arunneraftergodsownheart

Christian Runner, overcoming depression one step at a time.

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